surejohn221b: partybarackisinthehousetonight: partybarackisinthehousetonight: a bunch of the guys in my grade got together and bought their own url so they could have a website but literally the only purpose of the website is to see pictures of dads in hats i wasn’t kidding this is the website
thebatteur: once in kindergarten a girl asked me to write “super girl” on her arm since i was the only kid who could write so i wrote “shit” on her arm and i hid under the table for like 30 minutes then the teacher found me and yelled at me then called my parents and my dad laughed so hard he cried
edwrad: life tip: do not do things
“White houses” by Vanessa Carlton is pretty nuts like she’s singing nicely about a bunch of best friends and summer and then all of a sudden she’s like YUP THEN I LOST MY VIRGINITY AND HERE’S WHAT IT FELT LIKE my god Vanessa calm the fuck down
gayerthanjew: i feel my american-bred sense of entitlement the most when i get annoyed that the ‘united states’ is sorted in alphabetical order on a drop down menu and not just listed at the top
It all makes sense now. Gay marriage and marijuana are being legalized at the same time. Leviticus 20:13 says if a man lays with another man, he should be stoned. We were just misinterpreting it. WAIT 20:13 2013
singlefiletodehumanization: If Kevin Bacon doesn’t occasionally refer to his children as “Bacon bits”, then he can go fuck himself.